There is a very old (and very bad) joke that goes something like this: Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It fainted. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.
Not to compare kids to monkeys, but kids do the same things. If everyone is falling out of the tree, so to speak, so will they. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Children who are confident are more likely to stand up to peer pressure and more likely to be successful at it. Kids aren’t born with confidence, though; it takes work and nurturing from parents and caregivers. There are three things that you can give kids that will help them gain confidence and help them stay out of trouble.
Give them trust. I told my teenagers that I would trust them until they give me a reason not to trust them. I also set very clear boundaries and consequences if they were to violate my trust. This does not mean let them run wild with no direction, but it does mean give them the benefit of the doubt. If you don’t believe in them enough to feel that they will make sound decisions how can your expect them to believe in themselves?
Give them control. Give them control over some aspects of their lives. You can provide boundaries, but let them have some control. If your daughter wants to dress a certain way draw the line at belly shirts or skimpy skirts, but let her make some of her own rules. After all, what are they going to do when they get out of the house if you have always made their decisions for them? If they are comfortable making their own decisions because the have always had your support in doing it, they are more like to choose the way you taught them and showed them.
Give them love. I know that this is a given, but love them enough to let go. You can’t run their lives 24 hours a day and if you try you will not only wear yourself out, you will stunt their growth as they prepare to take on the world. Just let them know you love them and keep an open door communication at all times.
Kids will mess up from time to time, we all did. But if your child knows that he can come to you with anything and you won’t judge, but provide guidance and love, he will be more likely to make the right choices in his life. So, lay the groundwork, open the door and show them the path. Then let them make their way. Stay close and gently guide them back on track if they lose their way, but trust them, let them go and always, always love them.Find adorable clothes for your little princess at SophiasStyle.
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